For now:

Some things that concern me about Occupy Wall Street and Occupy Movements: 

1. They didn’t show up for us.  I know Slut Walk was problematic in its own right, but I’m kinda with Sadie Doyle on this one anyway.  Progressive men need to be more concerned about gender based violence.

2. Can the Subaltern Speak?  I don’t see faces that are representative of the 99% who are the most abused and marginalized in cities such as Austin, Charlotte, Seattle, Portland, and New York.  Even though many who have witnessed the sites remark on the diversity of the crowds, those who are speaking for the Occupation Movements in local and national media are, to put it bluntly, white guys.  My local Occupation made a call online for “spokespersons” who could speak for the group after some less than flattering interviews, and I cringed when the only demographic who responded were white dudes.  I am still eager to support them, but I will not support a long-term movement if women, POC, and queers become supporting cast.

3. Too Many Haters: I find the relentless skepticism, misinformation, and derision to be literally depressing.  I get it; the innocence of the ’60s is gone or whatever, and you haters out there can’t stand the idea that something cool and radical could be happening.  But Occupy isn’t a romantic gesture towards the Anti-Vietnam demonstrations or US Civil Rights movements.  We need not be nostalgic or reductive; Occupy is genuinely exciting (and moving, and expanding).

On the other hand,

1. @OccupyTheHood: is amazing.  And so are the other conversations about race, gender, class (and this one!), sexuality, and ability that seem to be emerging.  And so are the POC leaders of the movement.  And so are the queers and gays who are rallying for economic justice rather than gay marriage.

2. A “Leaderless Movement” Means: that, technically, there are no leaders.  You are your own leader, in your own town, wherever you damn well are or whoever it damn well pleases.  Of course, leaders do, anyhow, emerge by default – and they reproduce oppressive hierarchies already in play.  But unlike in real life, there is actually recourse built into consensus models that are used in general assemblies. These performances of participatory democracy are, in my opinion, transformative.  It is an important strategy that models and raises consciousness about the importance of ingrained fairness.

3. The Demands Are Fabulous: I will post them here since the media can’t seem to find them.

Although I’ve been burning up my twitter about #OWS, I’ve noticed a deafening silence from many of my birth-repro-prochoice-activist crowd on the growing movement.  Even though the largest nurses union in the US was out protesting with Occupy Movements, there was nary a peep from the American College of Nurse Midwives during National Midwifery Week in the early days of Occupy.

Why?

Occupy has resonated with too little of the 99%.  But families of all stripes who are considering reproductive choices (I think that covers basically everyone, or at least the 99%, or at least everyone on my twitter feed) need Occupy Wall Street.

+ Today marked at least the seventh federal attack on our legal right to choose abortion this year.  My feeling is that conservatives are provoking culture wars to drum up support in the ballot box and distract us from the enormous disparities in wealth they’re creating.  Or maybe they just really do hate women?

+  Corporate healthcare privileges the medical model and keeps normal birth underground.  Quite frankly, normal birth takes too long, and c-sections make more money and avoid more lawsuits.  The way birth is managed in corporate healthcare models has contributed to an outrageous maternal mortality problem in this country – particularly for mothers of color.

+ Domestic violence was decriminalized in Topeka, Kansas to save money.  Welcome to the austerity measures and its victims.

For these reasons and many more, we need Occupy Wall Street, too.

Find your local occupation here: http://www.occupytogether.org/

But I am still here! And guess what?  I’m half way through nursing school!  A round of champagne for all!  Trust me, we deserve it.

For now, I am slogging through nursing research, mental health nursing, and a NCLEX review course.  I’m super excited for the Fall — I will finally get to do my Labor and Delivery rotation!

But lately I’ve been a different sort of birthing crazed.

Coincidentally, today is M and my fourth anniversary (cue the tooting horns and confetti!).  And the question on our minds these days is: when do you know it’s time.  You know.  Baby Time.  Queer parents, you know how much of an uphill battle it is: securing the baby juice, saving up your queer dollars for all the expenses, finding competent health providers, prepping your friends and family, wondering what you need a lawyer to do to make sure your family is safe from outrageous instances of homophobia.  And, yeah, making a living being.  So it’s a big decision.

Or is it?  Some people act like you just know sometimes.  That’s where I am a little.  I mean, the clock is ticking in these quarters.  Really loud.  My logic is: life is good right now and we are going to have an awesome babe and be the best parents ever (duh) so let’s order some ovulation kits and start researching baby shower invites.  But M needs to know how we will know we know for sure.  How will we KNOW.

Queer mamas, how did you know?  Did you make a list of pro’s and con’s?  Did you have reliable baby making friends you asked?  Did you post a general plea for advice on your blog?

via the National LGBT Cancer Network

A rally in Raleigh, NC is scheduled for March 2nd to support the licensing of CPMs.  More info here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=168145996571568

Various legal defense fundraisers have been set up for Amy Medwin and can be found at http://www.ncfom.org/.

I’ll continue to post action alerts as they arise!  Until then, my thoughts and warmest condolences go out to Amy and the families she serves.

For now, please help get the word out.  I’ll continue posting updates as they arise.

first class of nurses at my university

They say if you can make it in New York you can make it anywhere.  Well.  I’m here to tell you: if you can survive accelerated nursing school, you can do anything.  Only 12 months to go until I sit for the licensing exams.  For now I”m taking coursework and will begin clinicals in March.

It seems like many of the student midwife and midwifery blogs online are from midwives who were already nurses prior to their career, or who went into the dual-entry programs that bundle the second degree nursing and midwifery in the same training (or, of course, are Professional Midwives not associated with nursing programs at all!).  For many circumstantial reasons, I’m attending an accelerated nursing program now, will become an RN, and then will go back to become a Nurse Midwife later.

At first I viewed the requirement to go through nursing school as a major drag; a means to an end.  I want to be a midwife, not a nurse, and I dreaded this year.  Even though I always knew how important nurses are in general, I realize now that nursing is such a strong foundation for midwifery care.  Nurses are trained to care for the whole patient, not simply the disease.  We’re learning about how to communicate, assess, interpret, comfort, advocate, and keep clients well across all stages of development in addition to studying disease processes and emergency procedures.  It feels like a sixth sense I’m developing; I’m starting to look at people and see things about them that tell me about their overall wellness.  AMAZING!  A month into the program, and I’m so excited about cultivating my clinical skills right here, right now.

And I’m exhausted.  I wake up, I drink coffee, I go to class or study, I go to bed.  My whole entire life, every second of it, it drenched in becoming a nurse.  It’s tough not having time for much else.  Sometimes it feels like an enormous sacrifice of my family time, friend time, personal time, sleep, emotional and physical wellness.  The expectations of our program sometimes border on absurdity.  You want us to do WHAT by next week?

It’s really intense.  I totally love it.  Working this hard, this fast, with this much sleep deprivation and this much joy has given me even more confidence that I can take the challenges of becoming and being a midwife.

Onward!

Fundamentally, this case was about whether same-sex parents should be able to use the same mechanism to adopt a non-biological child that heterosexual step-parents are granted once they are married.  Boseman v. Jarrell rules that since the biological parent did not give up her rights to the child as would happen in other types of adoption (but not required for married step-parents), that an adoption by the child’s non-biological parent is not legal.  In other words, since queer couples do not have access to marriage, one parent has to abdicate her rights to the child before another parent can secure them.  What infuriates me about this case is that courts already make rulings day in and day out that enable biological and non-biological co-parenting, but refuse the notion that same-sex parenting could necessitate similar legal status. We cannot get married, therefore our families don’t exist?

Predictably, Christian right groups filed briefs that supported the overturn and rallied their base on the issue.  I can get over the fact that some people are going to be homophobic no matter what.  Good for them.  But our families are not theoretical and do not deserve to be casualties of a culture war.

The sadness of the ruling was magnified, for me, by utterly typical picture it paints of the couple’s original intentions while building their family.  It affirms that both parents were good and fit, that both parents were equally dedicated to their creation, and that both parents intended to be lifelong co-parents upon the birth of their child.

But that’s not good enough.  We have to be married, I guess.  Oh wait, we can’t (and frankly, don’t want to be).

From the ruling:

In May of 2000 the parties initiated the process of having a child.  They decided that defendant would actually bear the child, but both parties would otherwise jointly participate in the conception process.  The parties agreed to choose an anonymous sperm donor and researched and discussed the available options.  They also attended the medical appointments necessary both to impregnate defendant and to address her prenatal care.

Plaintiff read to the minor child “in the womb and played music for him.” Plaintiff also cared for defendant during the pregnancy and was present for the delivery.  Defendant eventually gave birth to the minor child in October of 2002, and the parties jointly selected his first name.  Following the child’s birth, the parties held themselves out as the parents of the minor child.  They gave the minor child a hyphenated last name composed of both their last names.  They also “had a baptismal ceremony for the child at the plaintiff’s church during which they publicly presented themselves to family and friends as parents of the child.”  Further, each of the parties integrated the minor child into their respective families and each family accepted the minor child.

Within the home, the parties shared “an equal role” in parenting.  Plaintiff’s parenting skills were found to be “very attentive, very loving, hands on and fun.”  Defendant was found to be “very hands-on and patient in parenting” and to “reprimand[] [the minor child] by talking to him in a nice way.” As a result of occupational responsibilities, each party was occasionally required to be temporarily away from their home. During such an absence, the party at home would care for the child.  Moreover, the minor child treated each of the parties as a parent.  The child refers to plaintiff as “Mom” and to defendant as “Mommy.”  As the trial court stated, the minor child “shows lots of love and respect for both parties.”  “Each party agrees that the other is and has been a good parent,” and defendant even “testified that she thinks it is important for the plaintiff to be in” the minor child’s life.

As a young queer with a ticking biological clock and a hopeful non-biological co-parent to be (not to mention an adoring mother-in-law!!), this hits close to the bone.  Between this and the absolutely vile death of the Dream Act, my righteous indignation is boiling over.  I’m so disappointed; we can be so much better than this.

More about second parent adoption from the National Center for Lesbian Rights here.

Happy National Midwifery Week!  What better opportunity to highlight some of the exciting things that are going on in the field?

ACNM and ACOG Call For Papers:  Collaborative Practices Involving Obstetrician-Gynecologists and Nurse Midwives

This is tremendously important for so many reasons.  Families deserve real collaboration and continuity of care among both low-risk and high-risk pregnancy providers.  And both midwives and doctors deserve mutual respect in their shared field.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the American College of Nurse-Midwives are calling for papers describing successful and sustainable models of collaborative practice involving obstetrician-gynecologists and certified nurse-midwives/certified midwives.  The impending maternity care workforce crisis necessitates focusing on best practices across the US; therefore, preference will be given to papers about successful collaborative practice and outcomes.  Discussions of how physician and midwife collaborative practice models have affected maternity and women’s health care in both community and academic settings are being sought.

The authors of each paper must include both a doctor and a midwife, and they will be asked to speak at both ACOG and ACNM conferences about their findings.  The selected papers will be featured in an upcoming issue of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

For the full CFP, head over to ACNM’s website here or click here.

Midwives and Healthcare Reform

Check out this great post from RH Reality Check about how midwives will benefit from healthcare reform.  The piece is the first in a series of posts to highlight National Midwivery Week.

This video, from about a year ago, provides some first-person insight from consumers about why healthcare reform for maternity care is important.

National Midwifery Week  Roundup

ACNM has put together a great package of resources for National Midwifery Week.  The Midwife Connection blog will have a series of guest posts, get active with  20 Things You Can Do to Celebrate National Midwifery Week, and learn more about midwifery here.

Here are some of the reasons I love Etsy as a buyer and seller. I love buying things from and supporting actual people, not just weird corporate stores managed by company headquarters. I love the affordability of Etsy. I love that you can buy and wear items that are unique, handmade, personalized and interrupt the homogeny of mainstream consumer trends. I love that if you’re buying from Etsy, you’re most likely avoiding the unconscious support of child labor, slave labor, or sweatshop labor. I love the community and spirit of Etsy, and the one-to-one relationship you have with sellers. This makes phrases like “customer service” seem dumb and irrelevant – you got an issue? Just send the seller a convo and it’ll get resolved. I love that you can do all of this from the comfort of your own home!!

As a seller, I’m honored to provide garments that are cherished enough to be purchased with hard-earned dollars and given a new home. I’m excited that I get to send a perfect stranger treats in a beautiful parcel packaged with handmade materials. I love the idea of little babes tumbling around in funky vintage – parents wear it, why shouldn’t their kids? I love giving new life to thrifted garments that obviously weren’t loved enough if I can find them without any visible wear.

And the Spectrum Doula Etsy Shop is a double thrill – you get a gift for yourself or a friend AND you give a gift to another family by supporting accessible doulas.

For all these reasons, I”ll be doing much of my holiday shopping at Etsy and I hope you will, too!

If you’d like a good place to get started for baby and maternity items, check out my favorites at my Bun in the Oven Treasury, here.